Kiss
Puke
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
