you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
