well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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