Yo dont text me then not text me
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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