I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
