did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Randomize
