if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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