Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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