Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
