i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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