your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
