Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
And then my night got REAL pukey
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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