so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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