dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
