Porn is love you can see.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
