Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
