when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
