ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
