I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
