just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
