Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
