Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
