Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
