you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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