I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
