do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
