dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
