Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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