The maid of honor just puked.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
