My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
