So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
