Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
