Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
