thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
