in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
