piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
