My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
