I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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