Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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