I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
