i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
