White coat. Heels.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
