YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
