Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize