sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
