So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
