There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You did what with his pubic hair?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
