i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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