When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
farters have to be the big spoon...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
