in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
