You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
