Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
