I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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