Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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