You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
