you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
