i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
