It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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