ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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